Why Out Houses Are The Worst Thing Ever

So we're on vacation, right? We'll, its a road trip, which,

It's a pretty nice experience, when there are all these siblings, and all these parents, and all this space (joke.)

But anyway, we got to the cabin. It was very quaint, and very...log. It was really big and there was PLENTY of space for everything, or so I thought.

Yeah, YEAH.

I have had a fear of out houses since before I had a fear of flushing toilets and turning on the shower with the door closed, which means, FOR A REALLY LONG TIME. I'm 100% scared of out houses, for who knows how many reasons. But the main reason is probably because they LOOK so innocent and out-door-sie.


 "Oh I'm really getting the woodsie experience now," you say as you walk up with your flashlight-phone (Spent three days on airplane mode because it saves the battery like no bodies business and there wasn't any service anyway. My phone turned from pretty much everything, to a clock and flashlight.)
And as you get closer you realize. . . this isn't what I signed up for. walk into this small house in the middle of the night in my most vulnerable state? In the middle of the woods? . . .alone?

But by the time we left (after 4 days) I'd gone from 100% scared to about 95% scared.


Though I only used it four times.


But, though I'm sure my mom would say it builds character or something (if 'building character' can also mean 'build nightmares' then sure!), but now that it's over and I can't say I miss it. Though the cabin was awesome, its sad that it held such flaws.


Never taking toilets for granted again.


-Michelle

Why Packing is the Worst Thing Ever

Six months ago, you and your family planned this trip. Its going to be LEGIT. Two weeks long at the end of summer,  RIGHT after all your camps and parties and swimteams are over.

So summer goes by, and you have a blast.

Wait, wait wait. WAAAAAIT. You stop, and look back at your calendar.

WHAT? TWO DAYS? TWO DAYS AND YOU HAVEN'T PACKED A SINGLE THING.
You haven't even planned the things you're going to take. Like, made a list in your head.

Too busy doing extremely time consuming things like this all summer

The whole situation is rather surprising.

How could I forget such a big event? I mean, I've been talking it up for weeks!

So you got to get down to it.

And then the day comes, and you leave, and

Have fun on vacation!

-Michelle

Why Applying For a Job is the Worst Thing Ever

So you're a slob.

Not just any slob, but an unemployed slob.

Broke-ness, slobbi-ness, and just all around denial has caught up to you and its time to do that horrid horrid thing.

Job search.

So the first step is getting off youtube. I know, I know.

 Well, now that thats over with, and you've gotten off your bed, you're already in a bad mood, so there goes the productive, good day you'd planned.

So now you have to get on the computer and look up some stores that you're relatively interested in.

But then you have to start the actual applying process, which is fine at first. I mean, its like writing an auto biography.

"Tell us how you're a wonderful  person."
"Well, alright! I'll start with the story of how I saved this kid from downing when I was ten....."

After a while though, if you can believe it, you just kind of...run out of good things to say about yourself.

 I think its a combination of impatience, and desperation.

 But then it starts to get really weird, and in your head, all the answers are starting to be, instead of "yes" or "No", stuff more like, "Yeah within reason," "Sometimes," "If its convenient," "why not" and, "Anything to make you happy."

"Are you eighteen?"
"Ehh, I probably look eighteen."

So this whole process takes about two hours.
And then, its like the angels have blessed you and you're finally done, and then a little window pops up and says, "There are no positions available at this time, try again later!"

Everything is wrong now! Before you had something, hope, inspiration, endurance, and now you have nothing! Especially not a job!

Anger slowly turns into denial, which turns to depression,

And long hours of self-examination and reflection.

"Thats it...I'm living in my parents basement the rest of my life. I'll eat rats and mold. It won't be so bad."

-Life of a teenager.
:)