I have a confession to make. Sometimes, when I'm really depressed about being in college and realizing that it's an intellectual wasteland, I go watch videos of Asian-American people playing pretty music and making clever skits about life and the human condition. It makes me feel better for some reason.
I was able to get my camera working (as long as the battery is more than half-full, it'll turn on almost without fail), but sadly I cannot say the same for my bike, which is currently inoperable due to a problem with the chain that I know is an easy fix but requires clever hands and a tool that can unscrew screws, neither of which I possess. Because of this, I did not go to Wednesday night worship last week because it's a fifteen to twenty-minute walk to get there. This week, I figured a long walk isn't a good excuse for not attending worship two weeks in a row, so I made the walk and it took even longer that I thought, and when I finally got there several people came up and introduced themselves to me, saying that we'd met before at fondue night or in a class we shared, and I pretended to know them as well. I hate that I do this, but I put people in little categories in my mind, so if I was in a small group with someone in one of my classes and I learn their name and a little bit about them, I still will not recognize them if I encounter them in a non-academic setting. In my subconscious, that person only exists in the classroom, and every time my conscious mind suggests that perhaps that's not true, I get an acute sense of how ludicrous it is that said classmate continues existing once they step out of the classroom.
Anyway. I'm coming home tomorrow, so at the moment I'm counting down the hours. I have a lot of stuff I need to remember to grab while I'm there, mostly warmer clothes since the weather got cold a lot quicker than I thought it would. I could wear hats if I wanted to! I rarely do want to, but still. Also my birthday is soon. Nineteen sounds like a horrifically transitional age. For some reason I never encounter people who are nineteen. It must be like Purgatory, a purgatory that you can never admit to being in. I'll make sure to make the most of my time as nineteen, but I can't help but think that I'll spend the entire year with a vague sense in the back of my mind that I'm in some kind of limbo.
I've been thinking a lot about writing lately, mostly because I've been doing a lot of writing lately. Anyway, I was thinking about how I'm pretty sure I'm best at writing comedy or parody, but for some reason I don't ever actually spend any time writing comedy or parody. I think it's because I really enjoy reading dramas and thrillers and things, so I end up mostly writing dramas and thrillers and things even though I can't really write them well. So my new resolution is to start writing what I'm good at and see how it goes, and have at least one comedy project on the side going while I write what I love to write (it's currently dystopian America 40 years in the future).
...or maybe I should make future dystopian America into a comedy. Wouldn't that be fun?
Anyway, off to Biology again. See you soon.
-Amy
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