I Get Parental Anxiety

Feeding Bach has become such a routine lately that a lot of days the drudgery of the activity leads me to forget whether or not I've actually fed him yet that day. It's one of my greatest fears that I will overfeed him and come home to find him floating belly up because of my negligence. Is this what it's like to be a mother?? If so, it is too stressful for me.

I'm a little stressed out about my Writing Fiction for Publication class because it has become clear that everyone there took Creative Writing together and therefore are adhering to unspoken rules that I am unaware of. Like, for instance, last class they all got out critical responses they'd written up to give to the person who had handed out their short story the week before, and when I asked if that was a requirement, they all looked at me like I hadn't listened to anything that had gone on in class thus far when I know for a fact that no one mentioned writing response letters at any time during the class, least of all the teacher.

Another thing that makes me unsure about that class is that so far every short story I have read is about some who is crazy or is going crazy. I wrote my short story about a twelve-year-old boy. Next week when we go over it I'm afraid they're going to tear it apart for being too boring. I'm ridiculously nervous. I love reading other people's stories but I am not sure about other people reading my stuff. I still have the feeling that my writing is a part of my private self that I never show to anyone. It seems indecent to put it in the light. In fact, the more I think about the story that I handed out, the more uneasy I get. Maybe its because I'm afraid that since I so rarely share my writing that my thoughts won't be transferable at all.

Or it could just be that I have this bad habit of selectively remembering only the negative parts of a given memory (maybe that's why I can never recommend dramas/movies to you because I'm remember everything I didn't like about them and nothing I did like).

Speaking of movies I didn't like, though, the other day I went to see Seeking a Friend for the End of the World because it was playing for free in the Union and it looked interesting. Well it wasn't interesting. It was stupid and everything that happened was predictable and sad. Steve Carrell and Keira Knightly actually made for a pretty cool couple, even though their roles were very specific cliches, but the screenplay was written in such an awkward way that I couldn't even like them.

After I did that, I needed a pick-me-up so I went and checked out a small pot to make an unnamed dish involving the Basmati rice Mom sent me for my birthday, carrots, and a potato. It was around midnight when I finished it, but that made it no less delicious.

I also had crackers and gouda cheese, also courtesy of Mom. Thanks. :D

I was reading Elise's blog today and she mentioned having new pens and it being awesome. The problem with pens is that there is never enough ink in them. I take all my notes in pen and I doodle a lot in the margins and in my journal, so basically I run through a good pen about one every month. And good pens aren't always easy to come by. Taeream gave me a set that I loved so much that I've used one up already doing things like drawing octopi,

 

or the logos of whoever I happen to be listening to at the time:

You know, important things.

-Amy