Starbucks Rambles

Well, Amy, as you know, I'm sitting in Starbucks right now. Its really not my favorite thing. In fact, I don't really like it all. I'm sure that when I was younger, I would have thought that its so super cool to go to starbucks by myself with a computer and a bunch of time. Well, let me tell you something: its lonely and also kind of uncomfortable. The things I do to go to Grandview Assembly. I probably won't keep this. Plus, being gone three evenings a week really messes with my schedule (dance dance dance). But seriously, though, I'm dances at least two hours every day this week. Super intense. But I still can't do splits.

I'm listening to Super Junior as loud as I can to block out the Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk. Thats what its called, right? Who's it by? I don't remember. Its not that I don't like that song, but I think that I accidently trained my brain to turn off when I listen to smooth music, because I go to bed with smooth music like every night.

But No Other by Super Junior was like the fifth K-pop song  heard. I remember thinking, "Are they singing to each other?" Oh my goodness, I was such a naive little tot. Just because there isn't a girl in the video doesn't mean they're singing to each other. Obv. I was so American. Ha.

I feel bad because this is the second time I've come to Starbucks and I haven't bought anything. But I have resolve about saving money. For the first time ever. That's why I went to Taco Bell instead of that Chinese places. I'm pretty sure it was half as expensive and I enjoyed myself just as much. There are a few things that I love as much as I love Chinese style chicken, and one of them is American style Mexican food.

Oh, I forgot to tell you when I called you, I learned the Winters Child song that Suzy sings to Taec (remembering their names in the show is too hard, especially when they have more than one.) Its super pretty, and I will sing it for someone whose birthday is in the winter. Maybe you. I know, your birthday is in the middle of fall, but winter, fall, same difference.

I learned the chorus dance to Sorry Sorry. I don't remember if I told you that, but I'm pretty sure that its the funnest dance I've ever learned. Plus its super applicable. Never apologizing to someone without dancing again!

I'm pretty sure Mama, by EXO-K is like my favorite song right now. It's so awesome and epic.

I watched a bunch of videos of Park Bom from her show and she is the most adorable. "The most adorable." is not grammatically correct, but I don't care about that right now. What I mean by "the most adorable." is that out of all of the things in the world, she is the most adorable. I'm all for taking out most of the words in the sentence and then making people guess at what I mean.

I've also listened to Winters Child about a million times. Mainly because Suzy's voice is amazing and she says "happy birsday".

Today's Korean word is "괜찮아요" it means Alright, or Ok. You can use it as a sentence, like, "괜찮아요?" = "Are you Ok?" "괜찮아요." = "I'm ok."

-Michelle

Saturday Morning

11:05 - today I woke up and realized that I look like a boy.

I don't think I mentioned this before, but a couple of days ago I cut my hair. I don't really know what I was thinking, honestly. I didn't start until it was about 11pm, and I'm pretty sure I wasn't thinking clearly at the time or something. Anyway, I only narrowly avoided disaster and instead arrived at absolute mediocrity. This has got to be the most boring haircut I've ever had. I didn't even think to keep it at least a little longer on top. I took a picture to document this occurrence.

Sexy, right? I'm taking selcas to the next level.

While I'm sharing pictures, here's one from a couple of weeks ago of the white board we have on the outside of our door. I wrote 안녕하세요 (crookedly, I know) but someone else wrote what's underneath it.

It made my day (week), anyway.

So as you know, with Deathnote I had my first real experience with graphic novels, and then this week for my Literature for Adolescents class I read American Born Chinese, which wasn't awesome but it was pretty fun nevertheless. Anyway, I was inspired by trying something new like that, so I played around a little with drawing one of my writing works in progress in comic book form. And it turned out being totally fun. Here's the main obstacle I ran into: it's really, really hard for me to draw the same person from panel to panel and make them actually look like the same person. I have to really, really carefully think about what features make them that person, and draw them the same every time. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be. But it's fun anyway.

11:30 - 2NE1 is awesome. But their band is awesomer. Imagine being so famous and great that you get to just go to a recording session and sing with musicians like this.

I started reading Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality. You can tell it was written by someone at least slightly bitter about their childhood. Here is an excerpt:

Harry had been sent to the best elementary schools - and when that didn't work out, he was provided with tutors from the endless labor pool of starving students. Always Harry had been encouraged to study whatever caught his attention, bought all the books that caught his fancy, sponsored in whatever math or science competitions he entered. He was given anything reasonable that he wanted, except, maybe, the slightest shred of respect.

So you know how I was talking earlier about how weirded out I am when famous and/or talented people are younger than me? The same is true when I meet actual peers who are younger than me (basically my entire floor save one). I think this disorientation comes from growing up with almost everyone around me being older. I didn't have any friends who were younger than me. Besides you, I didn't even have any family who was younger than me, and so I always automatically defaulted to the youngest, or one of the youngest. Like, me and you and Joseph are still "the kids", and you and me are "the girls" (at least we've graduated from "the little girls"). It's ingrained in my mind, so being the unnie on 4th Hosey is odd. And people know I'm older, so they keep coming up to me to ask exactly how old I am in case I'm old enough to buy them alcohol. It's profoundly unsettling.

Lunchtime.

12:35 - Biscuits and gravy for lunch. Yes.


So here is what has made today so great (so far). I have been listening to my dance playlist all morning while I do all this stuff. I don't listen to my dance playlist often because it makes me feel restless sometimes, but on a sunny morning like this when I'm doing fun things, it is perfect. I put on those huge headphones and turned the bass all the way up, because I can. I am slowly refining all my playlists and they are getting good. You should check them out. "Smooth" is currently my favorite. I took the "kpop" off the front of the title because I put a JB song on there and I may add more. After all, it would be silly of me to abandon all the other music I like in favor of kpop.

Okay, pause writing while I listen to Digital Bounce. I think I've only actually heard this song all the way through two or three times, so it is pretty cool right now.

...and, TOP. Awww yeah.

In other news, I just saw this picture and I think it might prevent me from sleeping at night.

I don't have anything against Niel, and honestly his voice is pretty good, but I don't know if I will ever get used to whatever he has going on with his face and hair. 

2:03 - 2PM's My Color may be my new favorite song.

And I realized that in GD and TOP's "High High", they spell out ghetto at the end, and then electro. So it's "ghetto electro"? Makes about the same amount of sense as the rest of the song.

6:17 - I got tired of sitting down, so I am following the advice of office-space gurus everywhere and putting my laptop on top of the dresser. It is actually at exactly the right height for typing.

Today, I finally got around to finishing Coffee Prince. I'm glad I didn't abandon it. I wasn't ever a huge fan of Han Gyul (he always seemed a little whiny and desperate, even though he was funny and sweet), so I was tempted, but the supporting characters gave me hope. By the end I was in transports of joy. I'm glad that not everyone got a perfect ending, and I'm glad that the Japanese guy could find happiness even though that lady left him after everything (that sucked). And I definitely cried a lot when the three guys were saying goodbye to her right before she left for Italy. Ha Rim, so sweet.

Apparently, Yoon Eun Hye (the actress who plays Eun Chan) is like one of Korea's national treasures and everyone is in love with her. I guess she's pretty cool. She was pretty cool in Lie To Me too, but I think I'd rather see her in a movie. I will have to look one up.

I should go, because I think I might actually do homework tonight or something. I have been reading this book for World Literature, it's called Madame Bovary and even though it is chock-full of admirable moral lessons, it is still exactly the sort of crash-and-burn romance novels I despise. Maybe I despise it even more because I can see myself in the main character (who is, incidentally, a terrible person). I will prevail, however. I suspect that she will die in the end, because it is that sort of book.

To be honest, I have been hoping that she'll die for at least the last hundred pages. I suppose that's too much to hope for, though.

-Amy

P.S. 7:55 - I'm putting this at the end of the post because I feel like if anyone else reads this they will abandon the chore of getting through it before they get here, and I will be spared undue shame. I just wanted to relate to you that last night, the dining hall closed at 6:30 and I was so hungry that I wasn't satisfied just with the ramen I made at 8:30... I had to put ranch on it. I know. I'm sorry.

Maybe the Longest Post Ever

5:40 - For my Literature for Adolescents class, my group has to make up a Japanese legend starring a crane (which brings health and enlightenment to all, and also oversees reincarnation). We decided to all write one separately, then come together and decide on which one is the best (or put them all together). I have until Sunday to make it really good. I think I'll make it funny, just because we've been known to be funny as a group in the past (It was mostly just our leader and the other girl in the group - as the maknae, I lack charisma, but I can try my best). Anyway, since writing is my strength, I hope my story makes the final cut.

Here's one of the things that annoys me the most - when teachers hand back writing-intensive tests with the grade and a two-or-three word note. I understand that they have a ton of tests to grade and they can't spend a whole bunch of time explaining why I got the grade I got, but really, if I get a bad grade, I want to know why. I got 87 on my American Literature midterm for "ideas not fleshed out enough", even though I spent the entire class period trying to flesh out as many relevant thoughts as I possibly could in the test booklet. I thought I did super well on my World Literature midterm too, but I got it back today with a 92, which I know is an A, but the only thing the teacher wrote on it was "explain your words". What's that supposed to mean? What am I supposed to take away from that? If there are only two tests in the entire term, and they constitute the entire grade I'm going to get, I want more of an explanation for a less than spectacular grade and, more importantly, suggestions for how I can get a better grade on the final test.

The student teachers in my Adolescent Literature class are pretty cool though. There was one assignment we had with the Eclipse group where we had to write journal entries from the perspective of an assigned character - mine was Edward, and I really hammed it up. Even though I got full points on all of them, they still took the time to tell me what I did right ("You did such a great job of showing Edward's passion for Bella!" and "I think it's important that Edward realize just how restrictive he has been to Bella"). I feel confident of their future success as teachers.

Yeah, that whole Strong Heart episode sounds pretty sketch, I don't know if I'll be able to bear watching the whole thing when it comes out. I think part of what makes it so painful is the awkward translations, but still. I mean, dang. If you've lived and worked with someone for like seven or eight years, you should 1) have at some point or another seen each other with your shirts off without being weird about it (they're guys, for goodness sake, and they change like twenty times every concert), and 2) have enough mutual respect to not dish out all these dirty details on national television. Sometimes I think Big Bang members must have really uneasy relationships (or else they're magnificent trolls).

Wooooah, that Jason Derulo MV was pretty legit. He has fancy footwork, plus the backup dancers were cool. Like I said, I'm not a big fan of him but he's definitely gone up in my book. It's true about the lip syncing though. If you're going to lip sync, at least sing as well so it actually looks marginally real.

Chris Brown - Chris Brown is pretty intense. I mean I don't like his voice hugely, but I have the same view of it as I do of Taeyang's: doesn't sound great, but he has awesome control and is super versatile. Plus I can never resist men dancing in suits. What's with the animal suits though? Is this Chris Brown on acid? At one point there was a guy with a panda head in the background, and I lol'd. But yeah. The man can dance, especially in the Gene Kelly getup. I like.

B1A4 - Aww, that's a pretty cool video. They are all super cute except yeah, the girl was scary. I like the guy with the long hair. The video of theirs I watched the other day that I thought was so awesome was Beautiful Target. Literally every second of it makes me happy. I was going to mention a few specific things but I couldn't point out anything without wanting to point out everything.

NU'EST - is that their only song? It is pretty cool, and yeah, that guy seriously looks like a girl. The blonde ponytail isn't helping his case at all. And the end - ENGLISH. I feel like they're doing that thing that BAP did, debuting with a super intense song and dance that sort of surprises everyone into liking them. And instead of Zelo they have a girl.

7:00 - I can't stand LMFAO, really. I liked "I'm Sexy and I Know It", but their music videos are pretty inexcusable. I feel like there's a point, as a musician, when you should step back and question whether or not you're actually making music that people enjoy for more than just a catchy beat.

Beast - I have seen that video, but I didn't realize the first time that KiKwang was singing in English at the beginning. "I'm hurrsick" made me laugh. As the Arms, I feel like he shouldn't have such a ridiculously pretty face. As always, YoSeob is my favorite. The outfit he's wearing at the end is hilarious.

2PM - Yay Thailand! Yay Nichkhun! They are pretty funny unscripted. And Chansung is pretty tall. I don't know how, but I'm sure that the second I post this post I will forget his name again. I don't know why I always forget his name, but by now it is a regular occurrence. If these making of/behind the scenes films are to be believed, all these groups are basically just messing around having fun all the time. Which seems pretty cool, but I don't think it's true. Anyway Wooyoung on the keyboard is pretty funny.

I would pick yellow, because Wooyoung, or pink, because Nichkhun in a lace button-up and pleather vest is too hilarious to ignore.Though black is close too, because those backup dancers are pretty cool, and you know how I feel about black. Yes to the cornrows; no to the suit jacket with no shirt underneath.

Gotta stop this, seriously. I have other stuff to do! Though I'm proud to say that I wrote my two literary analyses with a vengeance last night with time to spare before bedtime (though lately I have been sleeping very badly).

You're going to Jeff City. Even though I'm not crazy about the city itself, the Capitol is pretty cool, and you'll probably have a grand time with all those people. Experience being a minority!

-Amy

I Like Your Thinking

Facebook is pretty public, after all. Everyone is probably sick of seeing our multiple-per-day posts about TOP and MBLAQ in their news feed. I am starting a little late, however. Right now, it is 4:00.

4:00 - I watched all the videos you linked, and here are my thoughts.

-SHINee: I have not seen so much cool beans in one place since I can't remember when. It is of a different type from Fantastic Baby and Bad Boy, which are my automatic go-to MVs for doses of awesome, so I don't know. Let's just say that Key is daebak. And also Minho. I can never say who is my favorite in Shinee though, because Onew's voice is like magical honey, Jonghyun is the drama queen and therefore irresistible, and Taemin is the Korean Michael Jackson. There's just no way to choose.

In other notes, after watching the video a couple of times I have to say that this dance must take a massive amount of coordination. I mean, I knew it was hard the first time I watched it, but the more I watch it the harder it looks. Anyway, as for what they're wearing, I wasn't a fan of Taemin's outfit (or his hair, but we will not speak of it), except then I realized that those aren't just lame capris that he's wearing, they're legit Thai pants, you know the ones that wrap around weirdly and tie that look super comfy but are hard to figure out. Key is ridiculous, but in a good way. I kind of want those shorts. And the pants Minho is wearing make his legs look really long. Maybe that's just how they are anyway. I guess he's the tallest.

-Big Bang: For one thing, Taeyang is pretty cute when he stumbles over Japanese. For another thing, I have a newfound respect for Seungri because even though he doesn't know a lick of English, he speaks Japanese really well (from what I can tell). And TOP... well, yeah. I want Daesung to say something.

-MBLAQ: Dat falsetto. Dang. I didn't even know that was possible. I actually don't think I've heard that song before, or else I heard it but didn't put it on my playlist for some reason. I lol'd at the Engrish, though. "Let's get party tonight."

CNBlue came out with a new album recently. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZYuZ5DIvn4 My ears are definitely having fun. Also my eyes. Don't know what's up with all the white people, though.

4:42 - I have made informal plans to get an apartment next fall with my roommate and another friend ("Major downer" Kailea). We haven't looked into anywhere yet but I am excited. Speaking of which, she wants me to go to the gym with her today. I really don't want to go because I am a lazy butt, which of course means I must go. After that I think I'm going to cut my hair. It's definitely time.

On Easter weekend I think I'm going to bring my friend Jamie home with me. She pretty much invited herself but I don't mind because she is pretty funny and cool. I don't know what we'll do all weekend since we don't exactly share hobbies, but I guess we'll work something out.

Every time I talk to my Korean contact in choir, I get tongue-tied and can't think of anything important to say. She's super chill but I'm ashamed to show how little I know in front of her. Thankfully it is a motivator for me to work really hard to get better so I can impress her (and others).

That Big Bang family tree is hilarious. My favorites are TOP&TOP's Coffee CEO (from Knockout), Taeyang's mother and father, Seungri's youngest sibling who was kept hidden, GD's "Passionate Christian uncle", and Daesung's brother who wears his underwear over his pants. XP

5:19 - Have you heard Justin Bieber's new song "Boyfriend"? I'm listening to it for the first time right now, and I have to say that my first impressions are good. I'm not sure about the weird rap-talking that's going on since I know JB can do so much better, but I like the feel of it. Maybe it'll be easy to get tired of. I like how his voice has changed. Plus he has kpop-worthy falsetto ("I don't know about me but I know about you, so say hello to falsetto in three, twoswag"). I feel like it's bad that I am comparing these things, but what's a girl to do?

Chester See did a cover that's pretty good, only different. He doesn't have the same time of charm, plus he can't get away with saying "swag" a lot. I guess the song's pretty versatile.

Another song I've really liked lately is Jason Derulo's "Breathing". It's not new but I just heard it on the radio for the first time when I was driving to school on Sunday (it took me TWO HOURS because there was an insane detour for construction on 7). I don't normally like Jason Derulo's music that much, but he doesn't do any of those annoying things with his voice in this song. Check it out. 

5:40 - The internet is so broken right now. It has been slower than at home for a few days (basically I opened all those videos you linked, paused them, then went to my two-hour lab so I could watch them when I got back), and now it is gone altogether. Sometimes living in this dorm hurts me a little, just because the AC doesn't really work at the moment, the hot water keeps going out, and the internet is like a snail that has died. First world problems.

Okay it's back on.

7:54 - I'm not sure how it got this late so fast. Anyway I went to the gym with some people. I was only able to run for about three quarters of a mile before I felt like my heart was going to explode (I can't remember what your heart rate isn't supposed to get above, but I counted 210 bpm and that seemed like enough to tone it down a little). Then I walked briskly the rest of the mile and stretched. It was good, because I got to do some yoga, and I haven't done that in a while. While I did that, I reflected on the interesting experience of doing yoga while listening to a bunch of jocks hitting on my friend while she did weights in a corner. Such is life.

It's 7:59 now and I desperately need a shower, but someone is in the bathroom. The thing about our suitemates is that they ever use the bathroom until I need to use the bathroom.

Okay, they're out now. I'm gonna finish this blog post here because I have a lot of homework for tomorrow that I haven't started on (that's how I do).

-Amy

Everything I did today.

Amy I decided on something HEUUUUUGE today:

I'm not going to write on your facebook wall a single time, I'm just going to keep this post open all day so I can add to it, and then I'll publish it when I leave the computer, and when you get on facebook, you'll be like, "gosh finally I don't have three million wall posts from Michelle today" and then I'll be like, "Look at the blog!" and you'll be like, "ahh! So organized!"

10:05

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQTLZTt_RAM
I stumbled upon this video and I was like, "oh another anouncement video, I'll watch it because there are few things I love more than watching things that have to do with Big Bang. And then I found out, this isn't like other announcement videos.
Thoughts:
1. top...just...keep it up.
2. WHAT SEUNGRI KNOWS JAPANESE?
3. I love them. soooo muuuuch.
4. top is like seven inches taller than all of them.

10:06
I've watched this about 700 times

No, thats a joke, I've watched the whole thing about, literally, 25 or 30 times, and I've watched 1:35-1:45 and 2:52-3:11 about 100 times.
Thoughts: At first I thought the dance was really weird, but its definitely grown on me. Every time I watch it I realize just how ingenious it is, and how it works with the concept of the song so well. The part where they all stand in a single file like and freeze in their different poses is really wonderful. It took me a while to get it, but now I really love the idea.
Keys part at 2:52? I watched it so many times that I got it stuck in my head ALL AFTERNOON while working. It was great.

10:34I've always loved this song but I didn't realize until not very long ago what was going on at 2:31-2:37.
Thoughts:
DAT FALSETTO. I'm just guessing that's GO because he's the one that always does the falsetto, but OHMYGAAALSH. it so amazing.

12:00
You're welcome.

So I watched that episode of MBLAQ Hello Baby where they leave Joon with the babies and watch from the other room without him knowing. So Joon calls them to see where they are, and GO is like "He's calling us!" and Seungho is like "Just complete the mission we gave you." and Joon is like "Theres a lot of stuff on this list!" and then Seungho is like, "Well you made a house so you should be fine."
And then they're all silently like, "OMG seungho ruined it now Joon knows that we're watching him" and then Seungho is like "Maybe if I don't say anything more, he won't get it," and then Joon was just like, "....I don't want to do this alone!"

Well...at least he's pretty.

And then Mir, "This is the first time someones made Dayoungie cry." "....No...No you were the first one to make her cry."

The things they say to get the kids to go to them in the popularity test is hilarious.
"I'll buy you something" - seungho
"I'll buy you pororo." - Thunder
"I'LL BUY YOU A POOL!" - Joon
"I like you." - mir
"Dayoungie, lets get married when you grow up!" - joon

Just saw a picture of Seungho wearing a shirt that said, "Be the superlative." cheesy in a different language, yur doin' it right.
And then right after that I saw a picture of GO wearing a shirt that said, MEN in MBLAQ. uh... I thought fans were supposed to wear those shirts.

Google Big Bang Family Tree and enjoy the things that become of it.


Yay for nerdy kpop post!

-michelle

Lady NOTga.

This is the third clue/teaser. mmmhhmmm.

In other news, "everyone" had a problem with us dancing to Lady Gaga (by every I mean a few of the students who dropped the class because of it) so she changed the song (Skrillex is still included), and shes bummed about it, and so am I. We aren't going to design our costumes, which suuuucks, I was so stoked about that.

Anyway. Happy Curiousness.

-Michelle

Dear Michelle (wherein I write a post that for once is shorter than yours)

I wrote that title to keep myself in check, because I am fully capable of writing a post that is long enough to also wipe something up, like my sweat after I go to the gym this afternoon (can you believe it?)

I get that school is just one of those things. I go through cycles of thinking that school is the easiest thing ever and I hardly even have to try to breeze through it with all As to feeling like I'm being swept mercilessly against the cold forbidding rocks of academia by tidal waves of dead-eyed cynicism. That analogy kind of got away from me. Without school, however, I will become a pretty useless excuse for a person. Well, with school it's entirely possible that I will still be useless, but my chances at succeeding in life are at least a little bit better.

I really like dancing but the truth is that I have little coordination, so sometimes I look at a dance and I'm like, I can do that, and then when I actually try it it turns out I can't even move my hands at the same time as my feet. It's pretty humbling. But I can accept that dance isn't something I have natural talent at. But the way you were describing dance and what it means to you reminded me of how I feel about language, sort of in a lot of ways. I mean, I'm really linguistically oriented, and anything that relates to linguistics really fascinates me. And the thing is, I have an alright aptitude for things like that. Like, I can actually have a completely autonomous desire to learn things about language and linguistics. I don't think I've ever had that kind of motivation with anything else. Like with writing, I did all the research and work and exercises and the worldbuilding without anyone else telling me what to do or how to do it, and it was actually fun. The same goes with Korean. I frigging love deciding to undertake something on my own and then it turning out that I'm perfectly capable of doing it well. Which reminds me that my next question for the Korean girl in my choir is what the difference is between 이용하다, 활용하다, and 사용하다, because everywhere I look, they all mean "to use". I need to know this because that's a really important verb and I don't want to say the wrong one at the wrong time. I'm so paranoid about that kind of thing. It pretty much goes without saying that I'm going to end up offending a lot of people when I speak to them in Korean just because I've never had to think this much about customs and propriety before.

It's pretty awesome that you got that part in Beauty and the Beast. Initially I wrote that as "Beasty and the Beast", and I'm suddenly realizing that that could be a pretty good story. Anyway, I know what you mean about feeling like being put into mezzo soprano is somehow an insult to your singing skills. I feel like I could be a pretty awesome alto, but I, too, am a mezzo soprano and we seem to get overlooked a lot. It's okay though, because if there's one thing I'm good at it's staying in the background. And that's important in a choir. Anyway, about sounding operatic, a lot of it comes down to really good breath control, which is something I've never been good at but I'm sure with practice you can totally kill it. Plus you were always better at swimming so your breath control is probably better than mine to begin with.

I could be your piano teacher. I don't know how good of a teacher I'd be, but we seem to see piano playing in sort of the same way (play what you want, when you want), so I guess that could be pretty good. But I'd have to turn into a bit of a slave driver because, not to be mean or anything, your musical motivation is usually at a pretty low ebb.

I should like go do school or something. I just had to pause this whole post-writing thing for a little while because I was listening to "Breath" by Beast and basically every time I listen to that song I have to stop everything and wait for the moment when YoSeob does this incredibly strong sustained note that has exactly the perfect amount of vibrato at the end of it and I think it brings a tear of admiration to my eye every time I hear it.

Anyway that's my story. I really failed at the whole writing a short post thing, didn't I?

-Amy

"I think I'll make a quick post before really getting into my homework" *writes post that, if printed, could probably be used as a doorstop*

A few items:

Firstly, I can't believe you're watching You're Beautiful right after, and I mean right after finishing PT. Sometimes you are hopeless, like me. I guess the post-show blues go to you pretty seriously if you just jumped right into the next one. Anyway, it's a pretty adorbs show, so you have that at least. Also, ShinWoo is officially cool, forever.

Second, my playlist I made is now awesome, so listen to it when you can, because there is some really good stuff on there that you may or may not have heard yet. I am listening to it now, and I am on Breakdown by Taeyang, one of the happiest-sounding songs ever.

Third, tomorrow is the first day that we're teaching my Adolescent Literature class, and I have experienced several stages of nervousness this afternoon alone. I'm not necessarily afraid of speaking in front of people, so right now my biggest fear is disappointing my group fellows by making a presentation that falls below their expectations. I know I'm the maknae by at least two years, but I'm still feeling a lot of pressure just because they're really good and I'm, well, not. I'm rewriting my lesson plan right now, because I have had a lot of caffeine and sugar, so I am ready for anything (excluding sleep, and really, who needs it?). I figure if I spend two minutes talking about DESE standards, and three minutes talking about each of the five lesson plan questions, I will easily have a fifteen-minute presentation, which should be a fairly okay. And I think I might have enough material to do that, so I guess all I need to do now is figure out how to make it interesting (a daunting task). My roommate has advised me to feign sickness and just stay home, and I am sorely tempted. If only my suck-up tendencies would allow such a thing.

Fourth, you know about that party thing you keep talking about? Yeah, the truth is that every time I think about it I feel that sense of encroaching doom. Not because it's your birthday, but because I think my head is about to explode. I think it's an actual mental disorder, the fear of an exploding head.

Actually, I wasn't expecting this, but I just googled it and it turns out exploding head syndrome is a real thing. My existence has been legitimized.

Long story short, it would be awesome to have a party for you, especially since it's your sweet 16 and stuff, but a surprise party may not be possible. The truth is that right now any party you throw or we throw together would literally be a hundred percent better than anything I could come up with on my own in the middle of my student teaching. It looks like you have a lot of good ideas so, by rights, it should be you figuring out what the party's going to be all about. It would be awesome if I could help though, so I can feel useful as a person once again (college kills personality). Like, I am pretty good at doing things like decorating if someone (you) tells me it looks good. I also crave affirmation.

I had a fifth item, but I forget what it is, and I promised myself that I would only have two items related to Korea.

Oh, I remember now. Today I sped read 90 pages of Dante's Inferno and 70 pages of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. The truth is that such a thing is not possible on this mortal plane, which is why I am a superstar. Or a superhero, depending on how you look at it. Having experienced reading 160 pages in about an hour and a half, I have decided that speedreading should be considered a supernatural power. I know you agree with me (I know no such thing, but if you don't agree with me I will probably come over there and show you my tears of ink to convince you otherwise).

I'm going to go finish my lesson plan now. You can remember me while you're having oodles of fun watching Shinwoo being awesome and Jaekyung being a meanieface but still pretty cool, and Jeremy being the most adorable boy ever. Can you tell I'm jealous? I really regret watching any Hello Baby this afternoon, because even though Shinee as really uncertain fathers is one of the most cutest things I've ever seen, I have so many less interesting and more pressing things to be doing.

Peace,
-Amy

Oh, Being Sixteen

Wow, there, 16. Its right around the corner. Like, LESS THAN TWO WEEKS AWAY. wow. WOW. I don't know what I'm going to do on my birthday, but it definitely won't be school or anything depressing like that. I'll probably spend the whole day reading the letters to myself that I'm supposed to open when I turn sixteen. I hope one of them has money in it.

Amy, that language thing IS really confusing, but I'll figure it out. Ya know, cause I'm cool like that.

Also, Taeyang. GAH.

Back to my Birthday. My party. Now, I don't know if you've already got this thing planned, but if you don't, gosh, two weeks is a short time. Just saying. In case you didn't know. because I don't know how many party's you've planned, in your life.

Oh no dad is singing along to Big Bang.

Yeah, I watched some more of Personal Taste. Oh my gosh its so incredibly funny. It makes me lawl and squirm a lot.

Oh yaaay you're coming home this weekend! We're gonna be super busy, but when we aren't we're going to watch Personal Taste and eat cookie dough and ramen noodles with chopsticks (YES, I do mean cookie dough with chopsticks. Get on my level) and talk about Taeyang and how he looks like Channing Tatum. Also I'll probably show you what I have of the Neverland dance. I don't have it memorized but I have MOST of it down (the "most" in caps means that there is a great deal of it that I don't know very well, but I can pretty much do the whole thing ok, and I've got the chorus down.)

Anyway, my birthday party: Don't do party favors. I know mom will want to. But here's the deal, I used to go along with that, but now its like, what the heck? "Here, let me give you a present for having a really fun time." thats lame and no one does that. The present is my presence.

And no, I don't want a pinata. But maybe a pinatas worth of candy. And yes, rollerskating is included in the 'no skating' rule. We aren't like five. Though I really enjoy skating to my song of choice. But another time, another time.

Stay Classy,
Michelle

The Fault in Our Stars

Dear Amy
There are a few parts to this blog post. Some of it is funny and some of it is serious and some if it is John Green.

The Relatively Funny Part:
So you showed me some songs the other day that I would like to think changed my definition of beat-tastic. I've found that I have become sick of the simple boom-clap-boom-clap that rules american pop as the singer wails about 'oh no she left me again' or 'oh yes we're gonna party tonight' or 'oh yes I love that girl' or 'oh i cheated but when I'm rich I'll give you material things to make you feel better about it, so please don't leave me.'

And I'm not saying that a lot of K-pop isn't boom-clap-boom-clap, but not knowing what they're saying really helps. I'm not the kind of person to listen to a song because I relate to it. The only song I've ever listened to because I related to it is Sexy and I Know It.

So what I'm saying is I can respect a song more when I'm not thinking, "oh my GOSH, I've heard these lyrics a billion times. 'somebody to love,' are you kidding me?"

I can definitely rock out more to a song when I'm not thinking, "oops he just cussed, oops he just cussed again." I don't listen to songs because I like what they're saying, I listen to them because I like the way the way they make me feel.

I don't know if this is how it is for you, Amy, but when I listen to an incredibly beat-tastic song for the first minute or thirty seconds of the song I'm just thinking, "wow. wow. wow. wow." and then I'm literally thinking about nothing but dancing. I feel like I need to express the way the song makes me feel and the only way for me to do that is not in words, but it movement.

So there are two songs that I listened to yesterday where I had the exact same thought process listening to them. The songs were "Love Ya" by SS501 and "Keep Your Head Down" by TVXQ. (also Digital Bounce, but that was a few days ago) Heres what I was thinking:
Someone needs to be doing acrobatics right now.


And here's what that means: almost nothing I can do can express how extremely and incredibly awesome this makes me feel.

The Serious Part:

I wait a lot to listen to k-pop and dance. The main reason I'm waiting is because I'm doing school. This semester I've kind of realized how hard school can be, and I don't mean challenging. I mean hard to make myself do without having some kind of breakdown because I can't stand how uninspiring and futile it is. Nothing that I want to obtain I am getting through school. Math mainly just makes me feel stupid, as I try to get my mind around concepts that are too confusing for me to understand, and therefore to profitless for me to care about.
In History I relearn things that I've learned a billion times, maybe in hopes that, for the kind of things you usually forget, "this time it will stick," and for things that you already know, "this time it will be drilled so hard into your adolescent brain that the foundation will shatter and you'll forget the difference between 'what actually happened,' and 'what my textbook thought I thought happened.'"
I'm still doing handwriting, since mom still wants to shape the kind of human I already am. Handwriting is just one of those things, you know?
I guess I'm just now realizing that the real challenge in school is not "remembering things just long enough to get a b on the test" but "remember to care enough to actually get a b on the test."

John Green:

Probably part of the reason I came to that conclusion is not because I'm a teenager and the I play the devils advocate and I have to disagree with everything everyone tells me, especially my parents; but because I'm reading a book about a girl with cancer and whenever it acknowledged that she was not going to school and just sleeping a lot and not really doing anything, I found myself thinking, "Doesn't she need to do something, so she can....you know...know how to do stuff when she grows up?" and then I realized two things:
1. She has cancer, and things like school and productiveness and doing-things-now-so-she-can-know-how-to-do-things-in-the-future, are not really relevant to her.
2. Do I really think that the only reason I do school and anything I don't want to so that I can do it later in life when my parents aren't around doing it for me?

And therein, I suppose, lies the problem. I guess I'm just now realizing that I'm just doing school to do school, not to learn about the Vietnam War and not to learn about distributing and factoring.

But on a happier note, I am reading a pretty incredible book by John Green called The Fault in Our Stars. Its funny and it makes you think about things, obviously. It also brings back my fear of having cancer. I'm really scared of getting cancer. I don't think its that irrational either.

But the book has some pretty incredible quotes, my favorite of which, I will leave you with:
"Look, let me just say it: he was hot. a nonhot boy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at worst, a form of assault. But a hot boy....well."

-Michelle