Why so woely?

Dear Amy.

I'm sorry you have to sit around for hours and hours. I sit around for hours and hours too, but I guess the difference is that I am doing school the whole time. eehehe.

Mom and dad are going to be gone tonight, so...yeah. We'll have a party and either watch Step Up 3 or Step Up 3 or Robin Hood (animated) or Step Up 3.

Twilight. Fanfiction. I can't even imagine anything worse. The only good kind of twilight fan fition is the whole book from Emmetts viewpoint (not in SM style of writing. That would ruin his whole character) Heres an excerpt of my Twilight from emmett. Instead of being called twilight, it will be called hunklight. Because he is a hunk.

"I grappled with a sea serpent today, and I won. Rosalie was cheering me on. She is beautiful. I drank the blood of the sea serpent then I taxadermied it myself. It is now in our room, where the bed should be. We don't have a bed because we don't sleep. Then I did weight lifting. I'm practicing on lifting bigger things every day. So I lifted weights. Then I lifted my family. Then I lifted the house with my family in it. Then I lifted Washington. If you want to be as strong as me the answer is...No. My hunkliness is unreachable. It is out of your reach. So just pretend like eating your greens will help your cause. Edward brought his girlfriend today. Shes clumsy but she is also funny. Rosalie doesn't like her, but I like her because shes unpredictable and she stutters and she is also annoying. Her and Edward are perfect for each other. They are cheesy together, which makes me laugh a big hearty laugh that makes everyone happy. Then I show off my biceps which makes everyone even more happy. Rosalie doesn't like Bella so sometimes we move away and pretend we're in college or married or something. You don't have to pretend that my name isn't awesome because it is. Its the name of a namean lion that I defeated one day. I'm going to go eat a orangcicle."

Did you like it? I like it. I started reading more New Moon today, and I'm writing a good amount of notes. Like notes about how kissing descriptions are bad form in the first 20 pages. Or how they're bad form period. Then I wrote about how Bella can tell the future from kissing. She is not cool.

Its annoys me. I hate SM's writing style. It is horrible.

Amy you don't just have to sit around and do nothing, you can sit around and do something. Like talk to people. Do you know how to do that? Heres how you do it.

A. Someone comes and sits next to you.

B. You say hi.

C. Depending on how enthusiastic their reply is,

1. If its really enthusiastic you are now free to compliment them on something that stands out to you.

2. If they aren't enthusiastic you can go back to what you are doing

D. Then after you've complimented them they will say thank you

E. You can ask them where they got whatever it is you complimented them on

F. You can talk about the store.

If you want to flirt thats a little different, and I can't coach you on something like that because every conversation is different, but the bottom line of flirting is :play hard to get and pretend like you care.

Pretend like you care that hes hitting on you and pretend like you care that his trig 9 class is hard. Pretend like you care about his life. Its not that hard.

Isn't it awesome how I have so much experience and I can coach you on stuff like this?

If you were my age, it would go more like this. (not flirting, keep in mind)

A. Say hi

B. They reply.

C. You start a conversation about really anything (How cold you are, how you like their hair style, how the carpet makes you want to puke. Generally anything that is on your mind is acceptable)

D. You talk for like 5 minutes

E. Then you ask their name.

F. Now you are free to joke and laugh.

G. You have now past the point of when you see them again you can sit down and start a comfortable conversation.

That might be how it works for college kids too, I don't know.

But if you were flirting, who knows what the conversation would go like, because everyone who is my age sucks at flirting (Like those girls that steal their crushes jackets and stuff, or hit their crush or something really annoying like that). Except for me, of course.

Having trouble with poems?

Heres some advice. Write a poem about what you're thinking about. The funnier the better, because chances are the poem isn't going to work absolutely perfectly, and if its funny, people will think that you thought it through and meant for it to be sub-par.

Rhyme. Always rhyme. Poems that don't rhyme are the dumbest thing. Emo poems are dumb too.

Here I can write you a poem about how emo poems are dumb.

Some people like to be super emotional.

They like to let you know whats in their soul.

But thats so totally dumb,

those poems are for bums.

Tada. Its not very hard. Or you can rewrite a story, like my Percy Jackson poem.

If you are going to have it not rhyme, its best if its a rant, like my rant about Bsafe.

I might have to come to your school with you, like in your bag, and help you with stuff like talking to people and writing poems, and forming a good argument against twilight and twilight fanfic (heres my argument against it: Twilight is dumb. The characters are not strong and they are whiny and un-independant. Except for Emmett. The kissing descriptions are enough to kill a man, --when I say man I mean mankind -- and the story has as many holes as my sock monkey would if I let Ebony anywhere near it. It has as many holes as those dumb blankets that people crochet all the time. It has as many holes as Emmetts tight polo shirts to the power of ten with a popped collar. -- Emmett is totally one of those people who can pull off popped collars. He may be the only person who can pull them off).

I might just have to write you a book of all the stuff you need to know when you go to college. I don't know what you're going to do when you don't have me to coach you on the weekends.

-Michelle

Weekly Woes (I save Vociferous Victories for when I'm Home home)

Hey Michelle. 'Sup. I've decided that Friday afternoon will henceforth be the time for me to vent my Weekly Woes. The big woe for this week is that I actually have the afternoon to vent my Weekly Woes. If, for instance, there was no tutor meeting this afternoon, I would be on my way Home home right now. Home home is my way of saying that I'm returning to the abode in which I was raised. Home is just going back to Mor Mor's. Anyway, since there in fact is tutor meeting this afternoon, I'm stuck at school for the four hours between work and more work.

Today, there was a tour that came to the WC, whose teacher was mean. She told Gwen that she'd rather a tutor didn't lead the tour, because all the tutors do is get "flustered" and "forget the most important things". I mean, it's true, really, but if the woman had any tact she'd be sensitive enough to at least say it without me sitting right there.

I need your help. I started classes this week, one of which was Creative Writing. The teacher is cool but a bit awkward, and the student body is as demographically diverse as is humanly possible. This means that the first class was ample time to get into the Twilight debate, since we have a few vehement Twilight fanfictioners and at least one extremely vehement anti-Twilighter. Not being one to sow dissension, I kept my mouth shut as to where my loyalties lie, even though it's only a matter of time before it all must come out in the open (i.e. when I'm required to peer review Twilight fanfiction, at which time I will tear it to pieces). The teacher didn't even know what fanfiction is, though. Don't worry, he was hastily informed.

But that's not what I need your help with. The fist half of the semester, the class is going to be focusing on poetry. Reading it and writing is and such. And I'm required, over this time, to write at least a hundred lines of poetry (divided into five or so actual poems).

AND I AM TERRIFIED.

I am terrified out of my mind. I don't even know the first thing about poetry, or where to start. I'm the sort of person who removes myself from the sort of people who write poetry! (except you, my dear) This is going to be very difficult. I'm going to need any creative and practical pointers I can get. Should it rhyme? Should it not rhyme? Is it too emo? Does it read like prose? What are acceptable subjects? Can it be funny? I'm not very good at funny, but I could try my hand at it and see what comes out. I'm related to you, aren't I? Mere association with you should improve my poetry-writing skills.

No matter whether you go to Mor Mor's with Mom and Dad or not, I'm coming home tonight. I'm a Home homesick little girl. Right now, I'm drowning my sorrows in a medium Americano. It is good. Almost as good as vodka, which is generally what people end up drowning their sorrows in.

Aaand I just spilled some. Well, it was bound to happen sometime.

-Amy

Sock Monkeys

AMY!

His name is Jason and hes smarter than all the other sock monkeys.

For literature class we have to write a terza rima, which is what Dante (A-L-I-G-H-I-E-R-I) writes in. They go A,B,A. B,C,B. C,D,C. D,E,D. I wrote mine in class. Its about how Jason is smarter and cooler than everyone. Its good. I will read it to you when you get home.

Speaking of which, mom and dad are going up there this weekend, and I think I'm coming with them, maybe possibly. I might come up and then all of us girls will stay up there, and have a party.

I might also have a party and watch all three step ups. again. Mahahaha.

Arg it happened again! I was in my gmail, and then it turned into yours when I signed in here. Don't worry no creepers opened chats with me, because you were invisible.

Today I am all alone. Kind of like every other day of the week. Except this week. I was with people this whole week. I played the piano for a long time today. When you come home this weekend or whenever I see you, I can almost play the whole Hey Jude for you.

Theres a really funny Julien Smith video that I have stuck in my head. I would totes give you a link or something but youtube is blocked on here. So is everything else. Except my school program, grooveshark and this.

Today I saw a failbook that made me lawl:

Status: I'm so frustrated I just want to rip my hair out.

Comment: Don't rip it. Whip it. Back and forth.

It made me laugh a lot, but not enough to forget how I want a phone really bad so I can listen to grooveshark anywhere I want so I can be a cheap person the rest of my life. I think fifteen is a good age for a phone, don't you? I know you don't. It wasn't a good age for a phone for you, but it is for me.

You really weren't doing anything when you were fifteen, so it wouldn't matter. And you still don't ever use your phone. I could steal your phone for a month and you probably wouldn't notice. And if you did notice, you wouldn't worry about it. You were born in the wrong century.

Speaking of centuries, and Whippin' your hair, Willow has a new single called 21st century girl. It hasn't actually come out yet, but I heard part of it.

You know that XKCD where he suggests not buying techno music but just playing the sample over and over and over again? I was thinking about doing that because I feel like it just wouldn't make a difference.

Speaking of techno and stuff like that. I got the Tron soundtrack and it rocks my socks offs.

Me and mom just figured out that next year I'm going to do a new program for school to help me with math. I'm going to do two hours of math every day, and so by the time I'm a junior or senior, I'll be farther than I'm supposed to and I'll be way smarter. I like being smart but I don't like working for it. Thats why I like hanging around people who have no common sense, because they think I'm smart and I don't even try. Ha. Juust kidding. All my friends are way smarter than me.

That hot chocolate is still in my room.

-michelle

Life is busy busy

Oh...Hey Amy.

Today I was bored with everything I own so I tried on something that was yours. It was weird, so I tried on something else, but it smelled bad. So You should be happy to know that I settled on wearing Angela's things today instead of yours.

Actually I'm not really wearing Angela's things. I kind of consider accessories (scarves, earings, necklaces, bracelets, headbands, hats, shoes) to be in the gray area between yours, mine and angela's clothes. Like, is not such a really bad sin if I just wear her scarf or hat as it is if I wear her shirts or jeans. I did wear her scarf yesterday, and I was also going to wear her hat that is more mine than hers because shes never warn it, but I couldn't find it. I found it when I got home though.

But don't worry, I wasn't hatless. I wore one of the dearings. It was blue and green and it had moose on it. mooses. mooseplural. Geeses. mouses. Brandon was actually wearing it but he wasn't utilizing it enough and my ears were cold.

Yesterday I did a really cool dance with nicole that I kind of got from Step Up 3, and also I did a really cool knee slide thing on ice, because I'm awesome.

We also saw bridge to terrabithia, and as always, the whole theater was full of middle school kids. Some of them were younger though, too. There was a girl from my Drama class who was sitting on the other side in the front row, so we were kind of like looking at each other. She was wearing a black and pink formal dress, like it was homecoming or something. And black tights. Me and Sydney said she might be going to a funeral after. I don't think so though. Its just like her to do something like that.

Her name is Alex and she played wolf man in our first show. She's the girl who always does the English accent if you tell her to change her voice for a different character. It got annoying.

I also went to ragz with Sydney (the store with the tie vests and amazing other stuff) I love everything there, and Sydney does too. I wandered around for like thirty minutes thinking about how I loved everything so much. Me and Sydney decided we are going to work there when we get older.

I think its also safe to say that I have never seen another white person in that store. Its cool.

This week I learned what Dante's last name is, and then I learned to spell it. I bet you don't even know what it is. Thats how cool I am.

Its Alighieri. Yea.

You know that Hot Chocolate that angela kind of spilled all over my whale stuffed animal and then I left the half full cup on the desk? Well its still there, and it smells bad, and yesterday I figured out that its not moving, and then I tried to pick it up, and it was so stuck, it took me four minutes. It was crazy.

Its actually still up there. I tipped the cup sideways and it didn't move hardly. Gross. I have to deal with it soon, but I don't really want to.

I guess I'll see you soon or something. I might actually come stay with you guys this week. Wouldn't that be totes awesome? If I do come I'm bringing a breakfast of my choice, because now every time I think of how sunny and light and beautiful mor mors kitchen is in the morning, I also get this hungry feeling. Because every time I see that light, I'm hungry, and I have to eat granola that is so hard I can't tell if its stale or not, or bread that takes 10 years of my teeths life, its so tough.

Also if I come up there I'm going to go shopping, probably at forever 21 or target and buy a jacket or two or three or five and like ten pairs of jeans. I could never have too many jeans, and right now I don't have enough.

Dear Michelle

Dear Michelle,

Right now, I am in a suburb of the city of Listlessness. This suburb is called Aimless. I like it here because it sounds like my name a little bit. In Aimless, it is snowing. I am sitting in a corner of the Hoodie School of Hoodlumly Hooligans. So far, I have killed two hours and forty-four minutes. This two hours and forty-four minutes is situated between today's first shift of work and the tutor meeting this afternoon. You know how I used it? I watched Zombieland. It was hilarious. It was also disgusting, but in a hilarious way. If you're into things like geeky kids with shotguns and zombie clowns. And Bill Murray.

I would like to be home. And, in a couple of hours, I will be. But I still have to get through the tutor meeting, which Kathryn said would be, quote, "short and sweet." So not too long now. Except this morning when I got up before the crack of dawn I forgot that I was planning to come home tonight so I didn't grab necessities like underwear and makeup. That's okay though. I think I still have some at home and I'll just borrow your mascara if I need it (...right?). I will come home toot-sweet. Toute de suite. Today someone at work asked me to read a piece of spam mail they'd received that was written in French, and I committed utter fail by not being able to get the gist of it for like five minutes. It was only a few sentences, and I still couldn't pick out more than a couple of words I knew. It was sad. Don't worry, though, it was nothing important. Just someone trying to scam people out of their visa numbers.

-Amy

P.S. It's an analogy. And it was a good one.

Boredomland

The is a rather large island off the coast of Cleveland Missouri.

sometimes its covered in fog and you can't even tell its there, because you just aren't paying any attention to it, but most times its right there, big and obvious like a sore thumb.

On this island there are seven villages, but no one lives in any of them. They look kind of abandoned and scary, made up of nothing but huts and cobwebs.

The first village, and the biggest, is called Everything. The second village is called Life, the third, School, the fourth Internet, the fifth Books, the sixth Cold the seventh Facebook.

These are the villages on the island of Boredomland, otherwise known as LonelyLand or Tiredland.

Its a sad, sad place.

And I am in it. All. The. Time.

That was totes migotes the coolest analogy thing I have ever done. Or was it a metaphor?

Amy I need you to come home. Right. Now.

Home Alone. Doing Chores.

So far the list is like this:

Feed cows (5 buckets)

Feed birds

Feed cats

Bring wood down and put some on the fire

Take out trash

Take out recycling

Take out compost

Call school and schedule piano lessons

Write blog post

Make sure Michelle practices the piano

Make a snack to take to a party today

It's pretty intense over here. Good thing I don't have much to distract me. I finished Bones last night, at least what's on Netflix. Overall I'd give the show something like 4 out of 5 because it's fun and interesting and there are cops and science. And Hodgins. Also I'm much better at naming the bones in the skeleton (though it still beats me what the lateral epicondyle is).

I got back to Mor Mor's on Tuesday, work on Wednesday, and school on Thursday. I CAN'T WAIT even though my work schedule is what I would call a complete trainwreck. I need to get back into the swing of things or I'll go crazy with sitting around doing nothing. Well, not today. Today I'm not doing nothing. I'm doing chores.

-Amy