Why so woely?

Dear Amy.

I'm sorry you have to sit around for hours and hours. I sit around for hours and hours too, but I guess the difference is that I am doing school the whole time. eehehe.

Mom and dad are going to be gone tonight, so...yeah. We'll have a party and either watch Step Up 3 or Step Up 3 or Robin Hood (animated) or Step Up 3.

Twilight. Fanfiction. I can't even imagine anything worse. The only good kind of twilight fan fition is the whole book from Emmetts viewpoint (not in SM style of writing. That would ruin his whole character) Heres an excerpt of my Twilight from emmett. Instead of being called twilight, it will be called hunklight. Because he is a hunk.

"I grappled with a sea serpent today, and I won. Rosalie was cheering me on. She is beautiful. I drank the blood of the sea serpent then I taxadermied it myself. It is now in our room, where the bed should be. We don't have a bed because we don't sleep. Then I did weight lifting. I'm practicing on lifting bigger things every day. So I lifted weights. Then I lifted my family. Then I lifted the house with my family in it. Then I lifted Washington. If you want to be as strong as me the answer is...No. My hunkliness is unreachable. It is out of your reach. So just pretend like eating your greens will help your cause. Edward brought his girlfriend today. Shes clumsy but she is also funny. Rosalie doesn't like her, but I like her because shes unpredictable and she stutters and she is also annoying. Her and Edward are perfect for each other. They are cheesy together, which makes me laugh a big hearty laugh that makes everyone happy. Then I show off my biceps which makes everyone even more happy. Rosalie doesn't like Bella so sometimes we move away and pretend we're in college or married or something. You don't have to pretend that my name isn't awesome because it is. Its the name of a namean lion that I defeated one day. I'm going to go eat a orangcicle."

Did you like it? I like it. I started reading more New Moon today, and I'm writing a good amount of notes. Like notes about how kissing descriptions are bad form in the first 20 pages. Or how they're bad form period. Then I wrote about how Bella can tell the future from kissing. She is not cool.

Its annoys me. I hate SM's writing style. It is horrible.

Amy you don't just have to sit around and do nothing, you can sit around and do something. Like talk to people. Do you know how to do that? Heres how you do it.

A. Someone comes and sits next to you.

B. You say hi.

C. Depending on how enthusiastic their reply is,

1. If its really enthusiastic you are now free to compliment them on something that stands out to you.

2. If they aren't enthusiastic you can go back to what you are doing

D. Then after you've complimented them they will say thank you

E. You can ask them where they got whatever it is you complimented them on

F. You can talk about the store.

If you want to flirt thats a little different, and I can't coach you on something like that because every conversation is different, but the bottom line of flirting is :play hard to get and pretend like you care.

Pretend like you care that hes hitting on you and pretend like you care that his trig 9 class is hard. Pretend like you care about his life. Its not that hard.

Isn't it awesome how I have so much experience and I can coach you on stuff like this?

If you were my age, it would go more like this. (not flirting, keep in mind)

A. Say hi

B. They reply.

C. You start a conversation about really anything (How cold you are, how you like their hair style, how the carpet makes you want to puke. Generally anything that is on your mind is acceptable)

D. You talk for like 5 minutes

E. Then you ask their name.

F. Now you are free to joke and laugh.

G. You have now past the point of when you see them again you can sit down and start a comfortable conversation.

That might be how it works for college kids too, I don't know.

But if you were flirting, who knows what the conversation would go like, because everyone who is my age sucks at flirting (Like those girls that steal their crushes jackets and stuff, or hit their crush or something really annoying like that). Except for me, of course.

Having trouble with poems?

Heres some advice. Write a poem about what you're thinking about. The funnier the better, because chances are the poem isn't going to work absolutely perfectly, and if its funny, people will think that you thought it through and meant for it to be sub-par.

Rhyme. Always rhyme. Poems that don't rhyme are the dumbest thing. Emo poems are dumb too.

Here I can write you a poem about how emo poems are dumb.

Some people like to be super emotional.

They like to let you know whats in their soul.

But thats so totally dumb,

those poems are for bums.

Tada. Its not very hard. Or you can rewrite a story, like my Percy Jackson poem.

If you are going to have it not rhyme, its best if its a rant, like my rant about Bsafe.

I might have to come to your school with you, like in your bag, and help you with stuff like talking to people and writing poems, and forming a good argument against twilight and twilight fanfic (heres my argument against it: Twilight is dumb. The characters are not strong and they are whiny and un-independant. Except for Emmett. The kissing descriptions are enough to kill a man, --when I say man I mean mankind -- and the story has as many holes as my sock monkey would if I let Ebony anywhere near it. It has as many holes as those dumb blankets that people crochet all the time. It has as many holes as Emmetts tight polo shirts to the power of ten with a popped collar. -- Emmett is totally one of those people who can pull off popped collars. He may be the only person who can pull them off).

I might just have to write you a book of all the stuff you need to know when you go to college. I don't know what you're going to do when you don't have me to coach you on the weekends.

-Michelle

Weekly Woes (I save Vociferous Victories for when I'm Home home)

Hey Michelle. 'Sup. I've decided that Friday afternoon will henceforth be the time for me to vent my Weekly Woes. The big woe for this week is that I actually have the afternoon to vent my Weekly Woes. If, for instance, there was no tutor meeting this afternoon, I would be on my way Home home right now. Home home is my way of saying that I'm returning to the abode in which I was raised. Home is just going back to Mor Mor's. Anyway, since there in fact is tutor meeting this afternoon, I'm stuck at school for the four hours between work and more work.

Today, there was a tour that came to the WC, whose teacher was mean. She told Gwen that she'd rather a tutor didn't lead the tour, because all the tutors do is get "flustered" and "forget the most important things". I mean, it's true, really, but if the woman had any tact she'd be sensitive enough to at least say it without me sitting right there.

I need your help. I started classes this week, one of which was Creative Writing. The teacher is cool but a bit awkward, and the student body is as demographically diverse as is humanly possible. This means that the first class was ample time to get into the Twilight debate, since we have a few vehement Twilight fanfictioners and at least one extremely vehement anti-Twilighter. Not being one to sow dissension, I kept my mouth shut as to where my loyalties lie, even though it's only a matter of time before it all must come out in the open (i.e. when I'm required to peer review Twilight fanfiction, at which time I will tear it to pieces). The teacher didn't even know what fanfiction is, though. Don't worry, he was hastily informed.

But that's not what I need your help with. The fist half of the semester, the class is going to be focusing on poetry. Reading it and writing is and such. And I'm required, over this time, to write at least a hundred lines of poetry (divided into five or so actual poems).

AND I AM TERRIFIED.

I am terrified out of my mind. I don't even know the first thing about poetry, or where to start. I'm the sort of person who removes myself from the sort of people who write poetry! (except you, my dear) This is going to be very difficult. I'm going to need any creative and practical pointers I can get. Should it rhyme? Should it not rhyme? Is it too emo? Does it read like prose? What are acceptable subjects? Can it be funny? I'm not very good at funny, but I could try my hand at it and see what comes out. I'm related to you, aren't I? Mere association with you should improve my poetry-writing skills.

No matter whether you go to Mor Mor's with Mom and Dad or not, I'm coming home tonight. I'm a Home homesick little girl. Right now, I'm drowning my sorrows in a medium Americano. It is good. Almost as good as vodka, which is generally what people end up drowning their sorrows in.

Aaand I just spilled some. Well, it was bound to happen sometime.

-Amy

Sock Monkeys

AMY!

His name is Jason and hes smarter than all the other sock monkeys.

For literature class we have to write a terza rima, which is what Dante (A-L-I-G-H-I-E-R-I) writes in. They go A,B,A. B,C,B. C,D,C. D,E,D. I wrote mine in class. Its about how Jason is smarter and cooler than everyone. Its good. I will read it to you when you get home.

Speaking of which, mom and dad are going up there this weekend, and I think I'm coming with them, maybe possibly. I might come up and then all of us girls will stay up there, and have a party.

I might also have a party and watch all three step ups. again. Mahahaha.

Arg it happened again! I was in my gmail, and then it turned into yours when I signed in here. Don't worry no creepers opened chats with me, because you were invisible.

Today I am all alone. Kind of like every other day of the week. Except this week. I was with people this whole week. I played the piano for a long time today. When you come home this weekend or whenever I see you, I can almost play the whole Hey Jude for you.

Theres a really funny Julien Smith video that I have stuck in my head. I would totes give you a link or something but youtube is blocked on here. So is everything else. Except my school program, grooveshark and this.

Today I saw a failbook that made me lawl:

Status: I'm so frustrated I just want to rip my hair out.

Comment: Don't rip it. Whip it. Back and forth.

It made me laugh a lot, but not enough to forget how I want a phone really bad so I can listen to grooveshark anywhere I want so I can be a cheap person the rest of my life. I think fifteen is a good age for a phone, don't you? I know you don't. It wasn't a good age for a phone for you, but it is for me.

You really weren't doing anything when you were fifteen, so it wouldn't matter. And you still don't ever use your phone. I could steal your phone for a month and you probably wouldn't notice. And if you did notice, you wouldn't worry about it. You were born in the wrong century.

Speaking of centuries, and Whippin' your hair, Willow has a new single called 21st century girl. It hasn't actually come out yet, but I heard part of it.

You know that XKCD where he suggests not buying techno music but just playing the sample over and over and over again? I was thinking about doing that because I feel like it just wouldn't make a difference.

Speaking of techno and stuff like that. I got the Tron soundtrack and it rocks my socks offs.

Me and mom just figured out that next year I'm going to do a new program for school to help me with math. I'm going to do two hours of math every day, and so by the time I'm a junior or senior, I'll be farther than I'm supposed to and I'll be way smarter. I like being smart but I don't like working for it. Thats why I like hanging around people who have no common sense, because they think I'm smart and I don't even try. Ha. Juust kidding. All my friends are way smarter than me.

That hot chocolate is still in my room.

-michelle

Life is busy busy

Oh...Hey Amy.

Today I was bored with everything I own so I tried on something that was yours. It was weird, so I tried on something else, but it smelled bad. So You should be happy to know that I settled on wearing Angela's things today instead of yours.

Actually I'm not really wearing Angela's things. I kind of consider accessories (scarves, earings, necklaces, bracelets, headbands, hats, shoes) to be in the gray area between yours, mine and angela's clothes. Like, is not such a really bad sin if I just wear her scarf or hat as it is if I wear her shirts or jeans. I did wear her scarf yesterday, and I was also going to wear her hat that is more mine than hers because shes never warn it, but I couldn't find it. I found it when I got home though.

But don't worry, I wasn't hatless. I wore one of the dearings. It was blue and green and it had moose on it. mooses. mooseplural. Geeses. mouses. Brandon was actually wearing it but he wasn't utilizing it enough and my ears were cold.

Yesterday I did a really cool dance with nicole that I kind of got from Step Up 3, and also I did a really cool knee slide thing on ice, because I'm awesome.

We also saw bridge to terrabithia, and as always, the whole theater was full of middle school kids. Some of them were younger though, too. There was a girl from my Drama class who was sitting on the other side in the front row, so we were kind of like looking at each other. She was wearing a black and pink formal dress, like it was homecoming or something. And black tights. Me and Sydney said she might be going to a funeral after. I don't think so though. Its just like her to do something like that.

Her name is Alex and she played wolf man in our first show. She's the girl who always does the English accent if you tell her to change her voice for a different character. It got annoying.

I also went to ragz with Sydney (the store with the tie vests and amazing other stuff) I love everything there, and Sydney does too. I wandered around for like thirty minutes thinking about how I loved everything so much. Me and Sydney decided we are going to work there when we get older.

I think its also safe to say that I have never seen another white person in that store. Its cool.

This week I learned what Dante's last name is, and then I learned to spell it. I bet you don't even know what it is. Thats how cool I am.

Its Alighieri. Yea.

You know that Hot Chocolate that angela kind of spilled all over my whale stuffed animal and then I left the half full cup on the desk? Well its still there, and it smells bad, and yesterday I figured out that its not moving, and then I tried to pick it up, and it was so stuck, it took me four minutes. It was crazy.

Its actually still up there. I tipped the cup sideways and it didn't move hardly. Gross. I have to deal with it soon, but I don't really want to.

I guess I'll see you soon or something. I might actually come stay with you guys this week. Wouldn't that be totes awesome? If I do come I'm bringing a breakfast of my choice, because now every time I think of how sunny and light and beautiful mor mors kitchen is in the morning, I also get this hungry feeling. Because every time I see that light, I'm hungry, and I have to eat granola that is so hard I can't tell if its stale or not, or bread that takes 10 years of my teeths life, its so tough.

Also if I come up there I'm going to go shopping, probably at forever 21 or target and buy a jacket or two or three or five and like ten pairs of jeans. I could never have too many jeans, and right now I don't have enough.

Dear Michelle

Dear Michelle,

Right now, I am in a suburb of the city of Listlessness. This suburb is called Aimless. I like it here because it sounds like my name a little bit. In Aimless, it is snowing. I am sitting in a corner of the Hoodie School of Hoodlumly Hooligans. So far, I have killed two hours and forty-four minutes. This two hours and forty-four minutes is situated between today's first shift of work and the tutor meeting this afternoon. You know how I used it? I watched Zombieland. It was hilarious. It was also disgusting, but in a hilarious way. If you're into things like geeky kids with shotguns and zombie clowns. And Bill Murray.

I would like to be home. And, in a couple of hours, I will be. But I still have to get through the tutor meeting, which Kathryn said would be, quote, "short and sweet." So not too long now. Except this morning when I got up before the crack of dawn I forgot that I was planning to come home tonight so I didn't grab necessities like underwear and makeup. That's okay though. I think I still have some at home and I'll just borrow your mascara if I need it (...right?). I will come home toot-sweet. Toute de suite. Today someone at work asked me to read a piece of spam mail they'd received that was written in French, and I committed utter fail by not being able to get the gist of it for like five minutes. It was only a few sentences, and I still couldn't pick out more than a couple of words I knew. It was sad. Don't worry, though, it was nothing important. Just someone trying to scam people out of their visa numbers.

-Amy

P.S. It's an analogy. And it was a good one.

Boredomland

The is a rather large island off the coast of Cleveland Missouri.

sometimes its covered in fog and you can't even tell its there, because you just aren't paying any attention to it, but most times its right there, big and obvious like a sore thumb.

On this island there are seven villages, but no one lives in any of them. They look kind of abandoned and scary, made up of nothing but huts and cobwebs.

The first village, and the biggest, is called Everything. The second village is called Life, the third, School, the fourth Internet, the fifth Books, the sixth Cold the seventh Facebook.

These are the villages on the island of Boredomland, otherwise known as LonelyLand or Tiredland.

Its a sad, sad place.

And I am in it. All. The. Time.

That was totes migotes the coolest analogy thing I have ever done. Or was it a metaphor?

Amy I need you to come home. Right. Now.

Home Alone. Doing Chores.

So far the list is like this:

Feed cows (5 buckets)

Feed birds

Feed cats

Bring wood down and put some on the fire

Take out trash

Take out recycling

Take out compost

Call school and schedule piano lessons

Write blog post

Make sure Michelle practices the piano

Make a snack to take to a party today

It's pretty intense over here. Good thing I don't have much to distract me. I finished Bones last night, at least what's on Netflix. Overall I'd give the show something like 4 out of 5 because it's fun and interesting and there are cops and science. And Hodgins. Also I'm much better at naming the bones in the skeleton (though it still beats me what the lateral epicondyle is).

I got back to Mor Mor's on Tuesday, work on Wednesday, and school on Thursday. I CAN'T WAIT even though my work schedule is what I would call a complete trainwreck. I need to get back into the swing of things or I'll go crazy with sitting around doing nothing. Well, not today. Today I'm not doing nothing. I'm doing chores.

-Amy

Braces is death

Beauty is Pain

They say that beauty is pain,
and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger,
well I don't think that's true.
I don't think that's true.
Beauty is foundation, concealer and mascara,
you are metal and elastic and plastic.
Sometimes you're colorful, which kind of helps,
but not very much,
because beauty is not pain.
beauty is foundation, concealer, and mascara.
You push and pull and whip my teeth into shape,
you make my gums bleed
You make my roots ache.
The only good thing about you is:
You give mom an excuse to by jell-o and pudding for me,
you make me appreciate my teeth.
My free teeth. Clean and delicious.
Braces, you make my breath bad.
You are pain, but you are not beauty.
beauty is foundation, concealer, and mascara.
What doesn't kill me does make me stronger,
but you don't make me stronger,
you make my teeth hurt,
and you make me not able to eat yummy crunchy foods.
You are ugly and a nuisance.
All adolescent children despise you.
Braces are not beauty.
I definitely don't think that's true.
I don't think that's true.

"We're not in Kansas anymore"

Well, I'm truly getting back into things. It's my first week back to piano, literature class and the orthodontist. And youth group also, but that was canceled tonight because its a snow day.

Snow day? again?

Wow, this is the third one in a row, and the weather is not planning to get any warmer any time soon. I have a feeling its going to stay exactly like this for like three weeks, and then we're gonna have a really weird hot day, and its all going to melt. All of it.

I wonder if the school would have three weeks of snow days. They seem like they might have to if they're just going to wait for the snow to melt.

Don't get me wrong, people-who-go-to-school, its great to have snowdays, they're awesome, I'm sure. I wouldn't know, but from what I hear, they sound pretty amazing...

You're right. I am pouting about my lack of snow days, but I can't help it. Its not my fault that I happen to have a few friends who go to school and are getting this whole week off.

It doesn't help that Amy isn't doing school either. Even if there wasn't snow, she still wouldn't be doing school. Its going to be spring before she gets off her Christmas break. She'll be like, 'ok, I'm gonna hibernate for the rest of the winter (and possibly spring), and then in three months, when my school starts, I'll wake up and get into the real swing of things, cool with that?'

But its probably all for the best that Amy doesn't have school. I hear those community colleges are like those child labor camps when it comes to getting school off.

This one time there was a tornado. Or two. Or three, and they didn't cancel.

This is Kansas, you know -- tornadoes are around here like the sun is around in the desert.

But only during tornado season. Which, if I'm not mistaken, is around the march, april, may time.

Some day, I will be blown up into a tornado, house, dog and all, and be swept to a far away land, beyond the rainbow.

Or maybe I'll be swept into a spaghetti tornado and spat out into the ocean, after meeting a couple of people inside.

Or maybe ---...I can't think of any more tornado movies.

But I can think of a lot of movies that make tornado/Wizard of Oz references. The most common being, "You're not in Kansas anymore" (Avatar, Honey I shrunk the kids, Inkheart, every mary-kate and Ashley episode EVER, The Matrix, and, according to this blog every movie on that video)

I went to the orthodontist and my teeth hurt muchly.

Any sort of sympathy accepted. Even sarcastic, because when it comes to sympathy, my brain filters away all the sarcasm, and I'm left with just plain sympathy. Usually I end up using that filter a LOT around this house.

Its actually quite sad.

The rest of my life

I very often think about the future. Usually I think about how awesome it will be.
Sometimes I think about what will happen, but there are so many things that could happen that it hurts my brain to even think about it.

I mean obviously there are things that I'm interested in that I want to invest more time in when I get older, but that doesn't narrow it down that much. I could see myself doing a LOT of things, and going a lot of places in the very near, to very distant, future.

The three things that I'm most interested in, as far as like, career choices go, (not like I'm saying career is the ultimate grown-up thing, I'm going to do so many other awesome things beside my career. Like bungee jumping and fulfilling my bucket list) pretty much have almost nothing to do with each other. They're Preforming arts, ( I would go into dancing, and possibly acting. Singing is cool too. Maybe I'll be a triple threat! YES!), psychology, (like what would I do if I went into that? I don't know, something boring. I think I just want to learn more and more about it, but I don't want to like...do that) and cosmetology, which would be totally fun.

Somehow, with all of these, combined, I will become not only the president of the world, but also the coolest person in the world. And the funnest, because I'm doing the funnest stuff all the time.

Geddit?

Also, here's whats horrible about homeschooling.

I mean, I'm sure people are going to school today, because, I mean, it hasn't snowed that much, I mean it hasn't even covered the grass all the way, but considering it hasn't really snowed at all this year (it snowed once, like a quarter inch), its somethin' amazing.

Anywho, about whats horrible about homeschooling: when it does snow a ton, (like...which doesn't really ever happen) we don't get school off. I remember for like three years, Kristi, my neighbor, had school off, and she would walk to my house with a sled, and hang out all day, because she had no school, but while she hung out, I would have to do school, or maybe before she came, or after she came, or whenever, but I would have to do school. And while there was a friend over. I was like the mother of doing that, because a lot of people who worked at the Greenhouses had little children my age, and they would always come over whenever they didn't have school, which was like always, and I never had school out. Its sad.

But now that I do Monarch the internet school, I get like, Martin Luther King day off, and Presidents days. Its sweet! But no surprise snow days...not for little homeschooled Michelle. I sit in the corner diligently doing school while everyone else lazes around doing who knows what.

Actually, if its Amy, then I know whats she's doing. I know what she's been doing for the last four weeks, and what she will continue to do for the next week and a half. Either, watch Bones, read Cracked.com, read something on canhascheeseburger, watch more Bones, read a really big boring book, write in her journal or on her computer, watch more Bones, or watch more Bones.

And in the case of Joesph, he is either on his computer ( I don't know what he does on there, but I gauge how unsociable he is feeling by weather or not his huge close-out-all-other-noises headphones are on or off. Though he probably doesn't gauge it that way, he probably just puts them on if he wants to watch another episode of the 29th season of Stargate, or another episode of pirated Dexter.) or taking wood down to the wood burning stove so that all the woman in the house who care about warmth will be warm.

Joseph doesn't care about warm. He cares about comfortable, which is usually around 62 and 1/4 degrees. He works better when its cold. Though not too cold, because when its too cold he stays home from work and puts a blanket around his shoulders while he reclines at his computer. Somewhere I heard that the colder the temperature is, the better the computer works. I suppose he is kind of like a computer.

Whereas the girls like Angela and Mom and Kristin and Amy like it to be about 100 degrees. Celsius. All the time.

Its such a struggle living in the Sullivan household. *Siiiiighhh*

Snow Day

I lied! It's not actually a snow day. I'm not in school or anything, why would you think such a thing?

There is snow, though. I'm taking this opportunity of an almost unbearably cozy day to write a story about a down-and-out writer. It's pretty depressing. There was even a mean guy who described her style as a "clinical rape of Frank Herbert." I think maybe I should move on to more cheerful premises.

I just finished season 4 of Bones. I want The Lab to be a real nightclub, so I can go there all the time and listen to Sweets' cutesy band.

But I Like Being a Sick Hermit!

I am pretty tired of typing. Mom and I just cataloged an entire bookshelf of Christian/education literature, and I'm spent. However, I have one thing to say.

THOSE SWIMSUITS ARE AWESOME. I want them. When I am rich, I will have them. But for now, I kind of want this:

I like this one the best. I will wait until I have money, and then I will strike!

So that's what's going on. I'm not any good at writing blog posts when I'm sitting around at home. Over and out.

P.S. Today I drew a superhero and a ninja. The battle that will ensue will be so epic that the world will be blown out of orbit.

Possibly the most rediculous and amazing things I have ever seen.

Tux competition suits! Just what I was looking for! And in blue! (it came in orange too) and the best part about it? The suit is named...HARRY! competition swimwear...named Harry (the orange one was named Lloyd)...that has a tux printed on the front...AND its baby blue.
Black and white swim party? I'm set.

Rainbows, butterflies, unicorns, skittles, swimsuits! Wait.....
There is no way I'm going to stop myself from spending 50 dollars on this piece of art!


"Splash meow" is what this one is called. Wait....don't cats hate water? I thought so.
As you look through these I would like you to keep in mind that they are all "competition swimsuits". These are expensive suits that you don't buy for every day use. I'm guessing most of these designs are to (1) intimidate the competitor, or (2) make you feel good/horrible about yourself/your fashion sense.
I can't really tell whats on this one, but they call it "Flip turn Jungle punch" hahaahahahahahahhahahahahahaha.
They call this little number "Splash Awesome Girl." This may be the best thing that has ever happened. It kind of looks like Wonderwoman, AND flash! So I can swim after my enemies OR "flash" to them before I entangle them in my Lasso of Truth.


And last but not least........The finale...the one, the only....: Sushi suit.
Yes. I don't even like sushi.
See how it has words? Wanna know what they say? Wanna Know?!?!

"Sophisticated. Raw."

Over...and over...and over again....

More poems? Don't worry, its just a phase.

Or maybe its totally not.
I'm sick and my head is totally hot.
I'm coughing all the time my throat is all scratchy,
And the pressure in my head is just as bad as it can be.

My nose is running and I have no energy,
I'm achy and I just want to live in lethargy,


Lethargy. Its a real word.


It means lazy and bummed out. That's like the epitome of what I am. All the time.
But being sick makes it worse. So much worse. And sad sad sad.

Jumping on the Bandwagon: Part 2

There once was a girl named Michelle,

Who is possibly going to...um...yeah.

I asked her to rhyme,

But she lies all the time,

And she told me that "Michelle" rhymes with "awesome," which is like, totally not true.

Percy Jackson in a nutshell. Or rather, an awesome poem.

This may or may not be the coolest thing I've ever written.

Keep in mind it has an an amazing amount of spoilers.

The Story of Percy Jackson

An Awesome Poem by an Awesome Girl: Michelle Sullivan

Percy Jackson is a totally average person,

His life is not cool and he doesn’t have fun.

He’s got ADHD and dyslexia, doesn’t that suck?

His mom is nice but his step dad’s a shmuck.

Percy is 12 and he doesn’t know his full potent-ial,

Probably because his school is horrible and really dull

His teacher turns out to be a huge creepy monster,

She wants to kill him, so he’s dead meat for sure.

Percy’s best friend who’s crippled and pathetic,

Teams up with his teacher who seems really sick,

Mr. Bruner, his teacher, is actually a centaur,

From a land called Greece, which is really far.

Percy’s whole world is turning upside down,

He’s sad and confused and he just wants to frown,

But Grover, his cripple friend, takes him home,

While he decides that his emotion is enough to write a poem

Both friends arrive at Percy’s little house,

Where his step dad is looking like one big louse.

He’s greedy and bossy and smelly to-boot,

And his hair was greasy right down to the root.

Percy and Grover felt for his mother, Sally,

Who was sweet, helpful and totally lovely.

But there wasn’t much they could do for her,

Cause they were just 12, and they couldn’t murder.

Grover spoke to Percy’s mom, and they all got in the car,

They were going somewhere that was very very far,

They said it would be totally “safe and sound,”

Percy was confused, he wanted to cry with no one around.

They were driving on back roads when something started to follow,

Something that was big and made you want to hide and lie low.

It was the Minotaur and it was out to crush them to bits,

Percy started to panic and have hyperventilating fits,

The Minotaur picked up the car and tossed it off the road,

Everyone was scared, and they all went into run-mode.

They ran to a nearby hill with a tree at the top,

Percy, Grover, and his mother were so scared they wanted to pop.

The Minotaur followed after them and got a hold of Sally,

It was raining and it was dark and hard for Percy to see,

He charged at the beast with a sword that I forgot to tell you about,

Percy had never used a sword and Grover had much doubt,

But he fought with the beast, killed it and took a horn,

Then Grover led him over the hill to a camp where he could mourn,

His mother was dead and he was hurting and confused.

In his eyes, he fought with the Minotaur and totally loozed.

His mother had been driving him to the camp Grover came from,

A place called Camp Half-Blood that looked anything but dumb

Walls of lava and obstacle courses, like it was some sort of training place.

Percy wanted to check the place out so he wiped the tears from his face.

He met a girl, Annabeth, who was blonde with gray eyes,

The kind of eyes that look into your soul and know all your lies.

She was nice and happy and she showed him around the facility,

And said to him, “everyone here is just like you and me,”

Percy was totally lost, but he liked that she said they were alike,

“we’re both half greek god,” Percy waited for someone to yell “Psych!”

Percy was confused and around Annabeth he felt self-conscious and fat.

He soon found that his ADHD and dyslexia were for Greek language and combat.

She showed him to a cabin where he was to sleep,

It was full of people who made him feel glad he had nothing to keep,

They were sons and daughters of Hermes and they steel all you own,

He was sad about the full cabin, he wanted to sleep alone,

Percy is sad because he doesn’t know who is father might be,

He does not want it to be Hermes, but that’s all he can see.

He’s confused because people treat him likes he’s special,

He’s annoyed and oh so very skeptical,

One day after a couple weeks of totally intense training,

They tell him they’re playing Capture the flag, it’s a tradition thing,

He gets ready and they go into the woods to play, every student,

They said, “no killing,” and Percy was scared of what they really meant.

A kid named Luke told him a brilliant plan, then left him alone,

Percy was scared of the children of Ares, he wanted to moan,

He didn’t want to stay there so he went to find the flag,

He was going to win the game, then Annabeth wouldn’t treat him like a rag,

Annabeth was on the opposite team, so if he won, they would lose,

But he didn’t care, she would see he was cool and had an ability to amuse.

Soon he found the flag, surprised it was unguarded,

He crossed a small stream, the line between the teams, or so they had said.

Annabeth appeared out of nowhere, a sword to his throat.

He feared for his life and his belongings, and the will he never wrote,

They got in a fight and Annabeth was totally winning,

Then he fell in the water and felt so good he could sing,

He made a wave with his mind and doused her in water,

He felt totally cool and magical like Harry Potter.

Then a shimmery sign appeared above his head,

He looked up at it and his body turned to lead,

It was the sign of Poseidon, which meant he was his dad,

He leapt on the inside and was no longer sad

He had a cabin to himself, and his dad was somebody,

Not a nobody-god, but he was one of the Big Three!

Then Mr. Bruner, or Chiron, told him something important

Zeus, his uncle, wanted him dead, Percy thought, “He can’t!”

Oh yes, Zeus, the terrible boy, he thought Percy was a thief,

And if Percy tried to fight him he might be turned to beef!

Percy hadn’t stolen anything; he’d been terribly framed!

But no matter, cause Zeus wanted him terribly maimed.

Percy had to prove that he was completely innocent,

If he didn’t he would die, and that couldn’t have been meant.

He would find what was stolen and give it back,

But time was running out, Zeus wanted him on the rack,

Percy decided to try and find his mother, while he was out,

Even if she turned out to be on a different route.

Percy got to the choice of two people to take with him,

So he chose Annabeth and Grover, even though he was a little dim.

So off they went to find Zeuses master lightning bolt,

The whole idea gave him quite a jolt.

On their way they taveled real far, got played by many a-god,

Killed lots of monsters and Percy found out he could communicate with cod.

They almost fought with Ares and they almost fell into Tartarus,

And sometimes they got so annoyed they just wanted to cuss.

But they didn’t because they’re kids and it’s a kids book,

Then they got to Hades and walked through it, however long it took,

And they found Hades and told him to give Percy’s mother back,

Then they found out Hades had played them too, the bolt was in their backpack.

So they went to Olympus and Percy met his dad,

And saw that Zeus wore a pinstriped suit, which actually didn’t look bad.

He gave back the bolt and he got back his mom,

Then he talked to Poseidon and found out he was a ticking time bomb,

Or maybe he found that out later, I really don’t know,

Then he went back to camp and told Annabeth he loved her so,

But that might be the last book, its hard to say,

Cause that’s all he was thinking, every day.

Then he talked to this guy Luke,

Who sometimes just makes me want to puke,

Cause he covered Percy with scorpions and left him to die,

And so Percy got bitten, was poisoned and died, Oh my!

That may not have happened but its way more exciting,

But it does make the series much less inviting.

Killing the main character before the end of book one?

I’ll stop with these terrible spoilers, I promise I’m done,

But Luke did try to kill him and he does make me puke,

But before he did he told him the truth, oh luke…

He told him that he was the lightning thief,

And Annabeth had a crush on him, which gave Percy much grief.

And so the book ends, and you long for the next one,

So hurry to read it, its totally fun,

You’ll love every moment and soon you’ll be hooked,

All the way up till where Percy gets cooked…..

Ha.

-Michelle

Odes

Ode to Google Chrome

Google Chrome you are totally cool,
You were where I did my school,
but now the computer has decided to uninstall you,
and my life has turned to complete poo
You were sleek and colorful, you made me want to sing,
I could always change your background setting,
It made my day happier when I used Edward Monkton,
(the setting that was always the best fun)
My life was easier when I used you,
my life was beautiful in everything I do,
but now I used the old grandpa firefox,
who sometime I wish would get chicken poxs.
And so ends my sad little song,
I'm sorry that it isn't very long,
I want you to know that I'm dying without you,
and that firefox is dumb and doesn't care,
and nothing else in my heart will ever compare.


*Sniff sniff*

Hey Bsafe, I don't like you

Hey Bsafe, you're a pain in my -- my whole body.
You make me ache and hurt and give me bruises all over.
You're evil and mean and you want to take over my life.
You remind me of hitler,
or a buffy episode, where only the parents were effected.
My parents think you're the best, and they probably want to adopt you,
but you're evil and mean and you want to take over my life.
You sometimes block me out of the internet,
boy how I hate you, boy how loathe you,
You deceive us with your name,
make us feel secure from the terrible things on the internet,
but in truth, you are the most terrible thing on the internet,
You make many child enemies, Bsafe,
and one day, it will come back around to you.
Just like it did to hitler.
And Just like it did in that buffy episode.
And in the buffy episode,
the people only came around once the demon was dead.
And very very dead, at that.
More dead than a doornail, or a door, or a nail.
And Bsafe, thats what you shall be when people see your true face
you don't want to save peoples children,
you want to eat peoples children.
And one day I will find you,
One day, Bsafe...one day.



What Michelle Learned: Bsafe is really annoying.


Random Fact: Bsafe is very annoying.